Could that be the best advice or the worst advice I have ever received?! "Start as you mean to continue". It would have been great -- had I known then what I know now! But as we plot and plan our way forward for 2019, as we dream big dreams and add tiny details, this is what we know: We want to start Close In.
Every time I find myself in a circle, I find myself full of questions. Many times, I think it seems insensitive and overstepping, this need I have to Know. I am so curious of the roads you have travelled, the people you have been. And my questions assume a history we do not share.
I wanted to be available. What does that mean? Mostly, I wanted to show up for my life. For so long I was simply gliding through my days, as if there would be an endless stream of them. Food and travel and building have done much to add colour to the landscape of my life, but people! People remain the technicolor dreamcoat.
When I Start Close In everything you share, shines a light on me. When you allow me the privilege of seeing you Close In, I feel seen. It is a reinforcing of my humanity.
Asking the questions has been amongst some of my bravest acts. Silence is easier. Casting my eyes down and assuming disinterest keeps us both safe. And keeps us apart. I want to know you. And I want to be known.
Close In, where the whispering voice tells me who I am not -- can you believe I have one too? Close In, where my secret doubt and fears weigh about the same as yours. Closer In, where our vision blurs, and we finally see rightly.
*** Circles coming to Jozi soon! ***