This week, one of our kids got into a situation with a friend. No one wants to be the parent in this scenario! Every mom and dad wants to believe there is no way their kid would behave in a way that is unbecoming/unkind/unfair/pick one.
But, these are kids and it happened. Talking about it becomes something that is more than just one conversation. And often, they are not fun conversations! But, after one such little chat, I felt like I’d been hit right between the eyes with this little nugget:
Your child wants to hear what you want to hear: I’m sorry. And, I forgive you.
We don’t always behave perfectly. We get tired, we mess up. We look back on moments that we absolutely could have handled better — and we have the tools to know this and do it! But, we will often bang the drum of “should have” than ever let ourselves get around to the: I’m sorry. And, I forgive you.
When I did my coaching training, this was one of the hardest, if not the hardest lesson for me. All my pride and shame was wrapped in this messy ball of indignation and righteousness. Sorry? I had not earned any sort of forgiveness.
But friends, forgiveness is never earned.
Trust, for sure. Respect, yes, even that. But forgiveness? No. It is why grace is so overwhelming. It is why grace can be the most impossible gift to offer ourselves.
I believe it is the most necessary.
So, take a moment, I am sure you won’t need to think too long or hard for an example: what do you wish you had done differently? not done? done better?
This time, instead of slipping straight into: you could have/should have. How about looking at yourself in the mirror (yes, really!) and offering yourself a gift. No one else can do this for you. It never feels the same coming from anyone else.
Here, I’ll go first:
Mliss, I’m sorry. And, I forgive you.