Right near the beginning of SG, another woman interviewed me for her blog. I was a little surprised as SG began because I just felt I ‘had to’ without much planning and 5-year-goals and whatnot. So a lot of my answers where kind of a surprise to me too!
But I remember one question in particular, and it has stayed with me as I have tried to navigate this juggling act of woman/wife/mum/work. Her question was along the lines of “How do you balance your work/life relationship?”
My answer has not changed much at all. I don’t believe any such thing exists! But, have a read through my direct messages, my Inbox, and you will see that I am not the only one wondering how to do it all.
Maybe one of our (I say ‘our’ because I am right there with you!) biggest problems with it is that we are not okay with an ‘okay’ job. We want to do it all really well, exceptionally well! And as I navigate life with teenagers, doing mom-life exceptionally well all the time seems completely impossible!
And when we don’t do something really, exceptionally well, lookie here! Guess who just arrived? Our favourite self-critic!
Much of my response to this has been: LESS.
I say Yes less. I do less. I sign up for less. My kids have less. I buy less.
Sounds good, huh?
Mostly, in a city full of more, more, more! Better, faster, more! I feel like a total freak! I am swimming upstream. A lot of the time I battle thoughts of ‘missing out’ of ‘not doing enough’ of ‘try harder’. And I will be honest, those are never fun thoughts!
Stuffing my mind and my home and my days full of things only adds to this not-enoughness. It is a never-ending cycle. Opting out of it requires conscious focus. It requires presence. For as far back as I can remember, my mantra has been: Be here, now.
It is another reason SG had to become a face-to-face reality, instead of merely an online community. We need to look into each other’s eyes and truly see: it’s not just me. Mostly, it is me too.
Mlisska, I am so afraid.
- Me too.
Mlisska, I feel completely overwhelmed.
- Me, too.
Mlisska, I am struggling with loneliness.
- Me too.
Mlisska, I need community.
- Me too.