Hard words Soft hearts

A few weeks ago I had a friend look me in the eye and tell me I’m avoiding, that I have disconnected from the work and I am disengaged.


You can imagine! Ego wants to rush in and shore up all my defenses. And all my old mechanisms of coping want to fall right into the same old pattern of performance.



In Circle and in coaching sessions I often tell women this is hard work. On the surface, it might not seem that way. It might look like a lovely cup of tea in front of my fireplace. And it is!

     But damn! It is hard.


It is hard because this is always personal. For it to be meaningful and for these conversations to impact your life (i.e. cause change) it has to be about your stuff. Nobody else.

Not your sh*tty husband/boss/friend/kids/house/country/job ......................


And so, this is why, the person you allow in there, in that deep and sacred space, has to be someone you can journey with. Has to be someone you can hear fecking hard truth from — but still feel loved. Still feel accepted. Seen. Worthy.


Because you want to grow in to all the woman you are. The one you have always been, long before the world told you that you are too loud, too demanding, too *something* and you learned to play small.


You have been given so much more space to fill than you are currently occupying.