Gathering women is very near and dear to my heart. At the last Circle I ran, a number of women present mentioned they would like to start a Circle. This thrills me! The need for connection is huge.
Yesterday I had coffee with one of those ladies. She has been hashing through the idea of starting ‘something’ and wanted to chat through some of the logistics and the challenges. It was such a stimulating conversation I thought I might turn some of it into a post for those of you thinking of offering an invitation to gather.
It is enormously tempting to spend much of your thinking and time figuring out how you are going to do what you want to do: What are you going to offer? Where will you be? How many will you have? How will you advertise? And so on. Because these sort of details are important and help you figure out a lot of what you are going to do.
But I would like to encourage you to do much harder work first! I would urge you to be able to articulate your ‘Why’. And by that I mean: can you write down in words the reason you are going to open doors into your life and heart, and that when you write those words down, it feels as though you just left a slice of your heart on the page?
I realise that may sound dramatic! And if you were going to teach something or even showcase something, this work is possibly not necessary. But I have found that offering intimate space leaves you incredibly vulnerable: Will they come? Will they ask hard questions? How will I handle questions I don’t want to answer and still hold authentic space?
So, unless you go there first, someone will take you there. And I promise, going there first is much better!
This may never be something you need to share or speak about. It may forever be your secret, hidden ‘why’. But once you have let yourself see your motivation, the thing that is urging you to do this, this need you are wanting to meet through offering this, you can be clear about your intentions. You will also be able to figure out if this is truly something you need to do, and if your need will, in fact, be met in this way.
People are hard work! ;-) But so incredibly rewarding! Personally, I find this work deeply fulfilling. Doesn’t make it less hard though! So, do the work to get crystal clear before you put out the welcome mat.
This won’t provide problem-free futures, this won’t make every gathering easy and fun. But it will help you have great clarity. And, the more I do this, the more I learn what a profound gift clarity is.
Offer yourself this gift, in order to be able to offer it to others.